also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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