I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
