I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
