Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
