Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
