At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
