Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
