You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
