Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
