You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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