i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
