Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
bring money and cleavage
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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