she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
