I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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