defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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