I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
