new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
