did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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