ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
