guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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