i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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