yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
