Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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