this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
