Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he fucked my hip out of place.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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