she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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