im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
