just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize