YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Randomize
