she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
