the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
