my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
