i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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