Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
