$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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