ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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