Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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