just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
