Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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