i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
