You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize