yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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