Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Randomize
