I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize