if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
