Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
