1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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