every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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