and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
