I must be too annoying 4 u.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
