Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
