Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
