Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
