He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
