she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
