Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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