I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
