You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
