i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
